I've made a list of the essential items I haven't been able to live without over the past couple of months as a new mommy. Hopefully this will help new parents who are planning for Baby, and friends who are shopping for gifts for them!
Celebrating and Just Getting By:
• A sign on your front door alerting friends that you are Babymooning, that asks them to please limit visits to 15mins so you can bond with baby.
• A digital camera with an empty memory card and fresh batteries.
• Meals in the freezer from friends, or pre-make yourself. Soups freeze well. Have someone coordinate this or you may get a lot of lasagnas. (This is a great baby shower gift, by the way.) And keep lots of good drinks on hand to keep hydrated while nursing.
• Cute stationery and stamps for thank-you notes, and lots of it. People are incredibly generous.
Baby clothing:
• 2 packets of kimono style shirts, short-sleeved and long-sleeved (ends of shirt fold over to make mittens). Pull-over shirts are hard to deal with when baby has a floppy head and you feel like he must be buttered, he's so hard to get dressed.
• 1-2 pairs elastic pants, or maybe 1-2 pairs baby legwarmers. Again, weather-depending. Rye spent most of his first three weeks in a kimono t-shirt and a diaper because it was so hot.
• A few pairs of socks.
• A couple of pairs of feet-y pajamas.
• You will receive a lot of newborn sized clothes as gifts, so don't go too crazy pre-shopping.
• A knitted hat (my baby doesn't like the cloth ones for some reason).
• Both a fleece and a cotton Halo sleep sack in newborn and next size up (may vary depending on your season). You use this in place of a blanket while sleeping. Baby can wear it plain, with a t-shirt under it, or with feety PJs under it.
• Several swaddling blankets. These can be made from a large piece of flannel (46" square) from the fabric store (hem or use pinking shears).
• Baby nail clippers. The natural parents say you are supposed to bite off their long nails, but come on.
Nursing Gear:
• Several pairs washable breast pads. Best are wool. I haven't had a problem with leakage with the ones from Danish Wool—they are expensive but totally worth it. Decent ones are fleece with a PUL lining, easy to wash. (Don't get the Medela cotton washable ones for daytime use, as they leak and are VERY visible under the shirt).
If you get a yeast issue, you will have to change the pads every time you nurse or more—so you'll either need a lot of them and continuously wash them, or it's a time to use disposable.
• 1 jar Motherlove organic nipple cream. Love it, and it's safe for baby to eat (I don't use this with the wool nursing pads; I figure the beeswax and oil probably would be difficult to wash out). Watch the expiration date since it's somewhat perishable.
• 1 tube Lansinoh lanolin nipple cream, also safe for baby to eat, they say (midwives like this better, good for use with wool breast pads).
• 2 pairs nursing pajamas from Majamas or similar. (Note: Japanese Weekend brand runs at least one size small.)
• At least 2 nursing tank tops (also usable for PJs). Check the sizes, the GlamourMom ones run really small (e.g. I am a size large(!)).
• 3 Nursing bras, but get properly fitted by an expert. You can find good ones starting at $20, but you'll likely spend more. Don't buy them until after your milk comes in, maybe 2 weeks after baby is born, to make sure they fit your new, porn-star boobs.
• A nursing pillow — I love the Bosom Baby, but a Boppy is good too. You should really make sure you are comfortable every time you nurse, because over time you can develop "repetitive stress" aches in your arms, etc.
• A stool for your feet when nursing. If you don't want to spend the money, try to get one from a friend, or you can use a flat stool that your kid can use at the sink later. Or, put those old phone books to use.
• An exercise ball for bouncing with baby. We have found this 10x more effective than the rocking chair, and we literally can't live without it. Also great for laboring, and as a chair later on. Buy the correct size for your body. You can get one for $45 at the fancy nursing store, or you can wait for Big 5 to have a sale and pick one up for $15.
Diapering:
There is good cloth diapering information at Kelly's Closet, Green Mountain Diapers, Jillian's Drawers and there are Diaper Pin online reviews. There are TONS of other sites with good info, too.
• Dy-Dee diaper service for the first 2 weeks, at least (If unavailable in your area, use disposable liners in your cloth dipes (such as a cut-up t-shirt) for the first 3 days until the meconium has passed through. It's like tar and really hard to clean.).
• 25 or more cloth diapers for after the service stops. And a good washing machine. Sun-drying is just fine.
• 80 or more reusable cloth wipes, there are many to choose from (even Toys R Us has them, and one brand even offers a wipes warmer). Hey, as long as you're washing the diapers anyway...
• A diaper sprayer like the Mini-Sprayer from Bum Genius, to get the solids off before washing (more important when baby eats solid food).
• Country Save or Planet laundry powder. (*We have found that Charlie's Soap makes the diapers "sticky" and not as clean as we'd like. Also the Happy Heinys website cautions that Charlie's can cause burning on the baby's bum.)
• A diaper bag of some sort that's not too hideous. There are zillions to choose from. We are using a lightweight travel shoulder bag from Patagonia I got on sale ($45), you also can get something girly from Petunia Picklebottom for $167. Pick your poison.
• At least 6 Burp cloths (or use diaper service dipes, let them do the wash).
• A dresser with a changing pad, and some bins for holding diapers, wipes, etc.
• Three containers of hand sanitizer: One for the changing table, one for the bedroom or alternate changing table, and one for the diaper bag. Yes, you can wash your hands in the bathroom for free, instead. But it's hard to do with the baby in your hands. Don't let the baby suck your hands after using this stuff, it tastes awful.
Going places:
• A convertible stroller, which provides both a basinette and a ticket out of the house. The Bugaboo Cameleon seems expensive, but it's a dream to use. Maybe several friends can pitch in on one, this is a way better gift than getting, say, nine hooded towels.
• Coordinate the stroller with the car seat; when baby is very small it's great to attach the car seat to the stroller to go to the mall (and this is a bit easier than buying a separate stroller frame for the carseat, for those of us who live in Calif. homes with no closets).
Baby and Family Comfort:
• A sling or two, such as a Moby Wrap or a Maya Wrap ring sling or an Ergo (better for your back when he gets a few months older). The sling should be sized for each user individually. The Pump Station offers instruction clinics if you can't figure out how to use yours.
• 2 pacifiers for 0-3m (not needed for all babies). The ones with a flat spot on the bottom (such as Born Free) stay in baby's mouth better, and the ones with a handle that lies flat (such as Avent) work best in a sling. Get a short leash to attach it to baby's shirt, or you'll get your exercise bending down to pick it up off the floor then washing it off.
• Rubberized flannel cloth to put under the sheets of all the beds. At least two. Especially if you just bought that new, bigger bed with the new mattress.
• Speaking of beds, we like having a portable basinette for during the day, such as the one that comes with the stroller (easiest) or a moses basket (cute!).
• We also got a waterproof mattress pad for our bed, and use piddle pads with it, too.
• A 100% cotton hooded bath towel. Sure you can use a regular towel, but the hoody ones are so cute!
• Speaking of baths, our original plan was to bathe baby in the kitchen sink. The height is great once he's in there, but it's a lot of pressure to hold him up while washing him. We found out too late that you can get a separate bath seat that may fit in the sink, or in a common baby bath tub (we got one for $8 from Ikea). It's tough to find one that is not laden with characters, but here's the one we got by Primo, on Amazon. The seat has really reduced the stress level and allows him to kick his feet. We like having the tub and the seat separate, so when he's bigger he can use a tub with a flat bottom, and when he's bigger than that he can use it as a play tub outside.
Books and Resources:
Nursing Info:
Books to own:
• The Baby Book by Bill and Martha Sears. Current parents' Bible. Their Attachment Parenting book is good, too.
• The Vaccine Book, by Bob Sears. Explains contents of each vaccine. He is pro-vax, but with a spaced-out schedule.
• Vaccinations, a Thoughtful Parents' Guide by Aviva Jill Romm. She is not necessarily anti-vax, but provides non-mainstream info that you don't hear about, and encourages each parent to make his own decision.
• A baby sign language guide such as Baby Sign Language Basics by Monta Z. Briant. Actually, this is not essential to your first couple of months, but since it's a lot to take in I was glad to read it early.
Books to read early on, but don't need to own:
• Sleeping With Your Baby, a Parent's Guide to Co-Sleeping by James J. McKenna (A quick read, but you can save money by reading good articles online here and here.)
• The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp. A quick read. Don't buy it, but do read someone else's.
If you're interested in some of the other parenting books we've been reading, check out my prenatal shelf on Goodreads, and the development shelf. Rye also has a few bookshelves there.
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